Vancouver Christmas Project

December 4th & 5th

6:00pm

Evergreen High School Performing Arts

14300 NE 18th Street

Vancouver, WA 

Join us for an evening of music and drama

Celebrating the story of Christmas

For more information, call 360.892.1060

In lieu of admission, we will be accepting new shoes & socks for Northwest Children's Outreach

All the information on this is from the website for the Vancouver Christmas Project:

Welcome to the Vancouver Christmas Project! We are organizing a Christmas event for Clark County and through this event we want to be able to support those who are in need among us. The current state of the economy has left many wondering where their next meal will come from, how they will keep a roof over their heads and if they have enough gas to get to work.

The organizations that already exist to help those in need are also finding themselves short on money and in turn, short on their ability to help those who need it the most.

It is from this need that the Vancouver Christmas Project arose. We will be doing a Christmas Concert the first weekend of December. It will be a free event, anyone and everyone is welcome to attend. At the event we will be accepting donations of new shoes and socks, and cash donations. Everything that is brought in will go right back out to the community!

A big part of the Vancouver Christmas Project is the Community Choir. We will have people joining the choir from all over Clark County.

New Information:
The Vancouver Christmas Project is pleased to announce that we will be partnering with Northwest children’s outreach. We will give you more information in the future about how you can make a difference in the life of a child, but for now, here’s a little bit about Northwest children’s Outreach.


Northwest Children’s Outreach is a faith-based, non-profit organization dedicated to helping families in the Portland area and surrounding communities. We help fill the needs of these families, providing clothing, infant care products, diapers, formula and many of the other necessities parents need for their children.

If you would like to learn more about how you can help us reach out to families in need, please click on the links on the right side of this page. Donations of time and/or money are always appreciated. Our organization is 100% volunteer-run, so all donations go straight to the families who need them.

Northwest Children’s outreach Website: http://northwestchildrensoutreach.org/

Northwest Children’s Outreach on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/NorthwestChildrensOutreach



East Coast Extravaganza



Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

 After a week of settling in from the mission, I was headed to the East Coast with Doug. This trip included a 12-step plan to get to camping with my sister-in-law and my three nephews. My sister-in-law is not a fan of camping, and this was to be the real deal. A canvas tent, sleeping bags, no showers and eco friendly toilets. Oh yeah, on an island in the Belgrade Lakes of Maine. Doug & I loved the idea. We have missed being able to camp for a few seasons. So this was going to be a real treat.

We arrived in Newark and then headed straight to the coast. Mantaloking is such a great place to just kick back and enjoy the days. Family and friends were there too. We were treated to great food and tons of water fun!

Two days later we were back in the car, there were 6 of us. Three adults and three kids, pumped up to get on the road and to our next destination. Not to camping yet, to a B&B in Kinnebunkport! So now we have moved away from the comfort and confines of a family beach home, to the adorable little haven of a beach B&B. We roughed it a bit by canoeing and riding bikes. But for the most part, the down mattress pads and fluffy pillows were going to soon be lost to our memories, well my sister-in-law's memories and dreams. I knew it was coming. I tried to think of ways to make the transition comfortable. She was doing well in the first two steps.

After two nights, we set out again. This time, headed to cousins vacation home on Sebago Lake. It was so beautiful there. But we were to be there just for lunch, then head to catch the boat to camp. The kids swam, fed ducks, visited cousins. Lunch was served! We had a great time visiting and laughing, telling stories about family gatherings. It was good to hear about Gregory's time with them all!

As we packed up the kids, it was decided that there should be a last hoorah! Ice cream! I began to think that my sister-in-law was dragging her feet at this point. But, we decided to meet everyone for ice cream. Ok, it really wasn't hard to do this! It was warm and they were not ready to say good-bye.

Finally, we hugged and said our farewells. We were back on the road. Before we knew it, we passed through the gates of Pine Island Camp. I was so anxious at this point. My brother passed through those gates as a teen to enjoy 6 weeks of "guy fun", in two summers.

It took me back to that time. I was in 5th and 6th grade. We lived in Greenville, SC. His first summer away, was the first I can remember being separated for such a long time. I did not like it at all. The house was quiet. I know I did stuff with friends, tennis and swimming. But at home I was kind of lonely. Of course I never would admit that to him!

When he came home, I remember his stories of sailing, wars and campfires. Gregory had a way of telling a story, always compelling. Also more interesting than anything that I might have done that summer.

So here we were, with his young sons. Unpacking the car with our gear, hauling it to the dock. We were greated by Ben Swan, the director of the camp. He was there when Gregory was a camper too.

I could only imagine my brother hopping into the boat with his gear, excitement building as he approached the dock on the island. Wondering what the summer had in store for him. I wondered if he thought about home while he was here. I would easily forgive him if he hadn't. The scenery was beautiful.

We docked and were approached by the warmest most welcoming smile of Emily Swan, Ben's wife. From here, the camping experience began! This place is awesome! Secluded, clean, safe, friendly.

To be continued.....

Follow the Team in Nicaragua

I was unable to blog while in Nicaragua. Time and internet connections are hard to come by....

If you are interested in reading our Pastor's Blog and seeing video that was sent back to our church, go to:
http://www.gatewayweb.org/

Click on the "Media" tab. From there it will prompt you to either read blogs or see video.

Bendecidos!

The Eve of Departure

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

The packing is done and our suitcases have been weighed. I believe we are ready to go. This weekend at church we prayed with the congregation. We shared last minute needs and what is planned for the trip. They got to meet us, again. Only this time we were together as a team. A family in Christ preparing to go and share His love to the people of Nicaragua.

We still needed 50 small tubes of toothpaste and asked the congregation if they could supply it. By the end of our service on Sunday, our prayer was answered! What a great community we have! Praise God!

In Philippians 2, I find comfort in the words as to our preparedness:

1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from His love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

6 Though he was God,[a] he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.

7 Instead, He gave up His divine privileges[b]; He took the humble position of a slave[c] and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form,[d] 8 He humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

So I leave with you all a request. As our team goes and share these things with others, do the same in your communities. Love one another. Remember Jesus' sacrifice for us. Humble yourself as a servant to others with the love of Christ in your hearts.

I love you all, praise God for you all. I pray the next two weeks you make yourself a living sacrifice and you have some great stories to tell me when I return. I will too!

Bendecidos!

Countdown - Five Days to Go...

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

The excitement is starting to set in! Or could it be anxiety? I have a few things I would like to pick up for the trip, then I will start to actually pack into a suitcase. Aside from this, my journal study is really leading me so much closer to God. I always feel so protected from the evil one when I completely give my mind to the Good News!

Last night, Doug & I decided to go to The White Eagle, a McMenamins Pub, while we waited to pick up Coral and Morgan after the Justin Bieber Concert. Yes, that sentence is so loaded with so many things that humans struggle with in the flesh! Even though I got to listen to two Bluegrass Bands, my favorite type of music, I found myself looking at the faces of all the people walking by, standing at the bar or even dancing. Everyone looks happy and like they are having fun, but, is it because of the music, atmosphere, drink, friends? Then I question - Do they know Christ? Would they want to know? Would they be interested in learning about Him? Go on a mission trip?

I think a lot of the people would do mission work, but would it be to glorify God? Geez, how did Paul do it?! How did he or even Jesus for that matter, just walk into a town and start sharing the Good News? Without fear of persecution even! I think I would have a harder time sharing this with this crowd than I do in Nicaragua. Like I said, as the time gets closer to depart, I find myself relying totally on God for strength, patience and comfort. He gives all this to me by guiding me to where He needs me, and it all falls into place! Of course, it's not all that easy - I have to be dedicated to this time with Him or I always fall to the wayside, the fleshly struggle when I try to do it all on my own.

In my journal today, Christ is Supreme! Colossians 1:15-23 supreme! God is the beginning and the end. Why should I think that I could handle anything on my own? In Nicaragua, the people I work side by side with know I am there because of God. Here, they have no idea unless I say something. What do I say to start the conversation? It seems God always puts that into place, He also gives me the words, too. But sometimes there is no conversation when I feel there should have been, that's fleshly thinking. Obviously God has already planned for someone else to talk with them or show them the way.

Now is my time to share Christ's love with the people of Nicaragua. I have to use that experience to share with family and friends upon my return. Maybe one day as I sit at a pub listening to music, not only would I meet another Believer, but maybe talk to someone who wants to believe. You just never know, you don't need to, God is in control of that!

So today I would like to share this...

...Don't drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed as God's servant to proclaim it. Col.1:23

In Christ -

Paige

Leaving for Nicaragua

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

I started my Spiritual Journal that our team is given after our training. It begins 14 days prior to our departure. I always feel a bit overwhelmed when I begin it, but then it brings me to a place in my heart and in my mind, where I know I can totally trust in God. By the time I reach the page marked "7 days to departure", I know that no matter what I am trying to prepare for, God is in control and will guide me through.

A few days ago, I was reading scripture, Colossians 3:1-11. I wrote a note on my Facebook site in November of 2008, trying to explain to my friends, old and new, who I have become and how I got there. I feel as though I should share it again:

Colossians 3

Living the New Life
1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3 For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your[a] life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.

5 So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. 6 Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming.[b] 7 You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. 8 But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. 9 Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. 10 Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. 11 In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile,[c] circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized,[d] slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.

12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.


This is how I finally found my happiness through all the anger, darkness and sadness. This is where I found how I am truly loved. I opened a heavily bolted door, to let Christ in to my life. Through my faith, I receive His grace. I am alive. I have great joy. I have forgiven, and been forgiven. I can live each day knowing I am loved. I care, I listen, I reach out to others. I am completely alive!


I pray the same for all of you, because I love and care for you. I have been praying it since I first posted this on Facebook.

In 7 days, I will be departing the comforts of my home, leaving my family behind and arriving in a country that is heavily laden with poverty. It is very tough to witness the first time you go, but I am finding that it does not get any easier the more you go. I have gained trustworthy, loving and caring relationships with my extended family there. It is very difficult to see their struggles. You want to give them everything God has gifted to you. You can't, they would become dependent upon it. So, you give it to God. Through Him, His works, His word, His grace we all overcome.

I ask for your prayers as I finish packing. Pray for the team. For our health, for our strength. Pray for the people we will meet and work side by side with. Pray that our actions are only those representing our dear Lord and His works so that the people on the job site that do not believe in Him, may see Him through us. Pray that I am able to overcome the obstacles in my life I am struggling with right now. I have not felt completely whole since I lost my brother, the evil one knows I am at a weak point in my life and would love for me to fail. I have full trust in God - He called me to the mission, I praise Him for His trust in me.



Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

Gregory, like a lighthouse,
was a beacon of light
for so many in his life.
Not just guiding friends,
aquaintances or family in a storm,
but simply a light of hope
when you weren't certain
of your next move.

Time to Share My Grief - A Letter

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

Ok, well, it is not exactly "mine", but through Grief Share I have learned how important it is to share with everyone a letter hopefully explaining my grief. This way there are no guesses as to how I am feeling and maybe what I need from everyone. I copied it mostly from my workbook, sometimes it is hard for me to come up with words, clearly. So here it goes:

Dear Friends,

Recently I have suffered a devastating loss, as you all know. I am grieving and it will take months and maybe even years to recover. I wanted to let you know that I will cry from time to time. My tears are not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. They are God's gift to me to express the extent of my loss, and they are also a sign that I am recovering.

The past 4 months have been far more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I now realize this process of grieving is messy and lasts a lot longer than I had anticipated. Thank you for being my friends and supporting me during this season of grief. You don't always have to know what to say or even say anything if you don't know how to respond. Your presence and a touch or hug lets me know you care. Please don't wait for me to call you since sometimes I am too tired or tearful to do so.

Please know that I do not need fixing... that is God's job! Your love, patience and prayers will sustain me through this time. God is faithful; He is my sustaining grace.

Please pray that God will use this time of grieving to grow me and equip me to minister to others with greater compassion than ever before. I know I will not just survive... joy will return!

If you have experienced a similar type of loss, please feel free to share it with me. It will help rather than cause me to feel worse. And don't stop sharing if I begin to cry. It's all right, and any tears you express are also all right!

This loss is so painful, and right now it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I will survive and eventually recover. I cling to that knowledge, even though there have been times when I didn't feel it. I know I will not always feel as I do now. Laughter and joy will emerge once again someday.

Thank you for for caring enough to read this letter. Thank you for listening and praying. Your concern comforts me and is a gift for which I will always be thankful.

In Christ,

Paige

The Oregon Coast - Through My Eyes

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

As time slips by, I either learn to deal with specific dates or I just stay busy. One thing I do know, when I come across photos that I have taken, somehow I can always place a memory of Gregory with it. I am beginning to feel as though I am taking a journey with him. Instead of it leading somewhere physical, it's emotional.

In this photograph, I can picture Gregory and I dangling our feet over the cliff, sipping a glass of wine, and sharing our life's dreams with each other. Those times with him were few, but when we had the chance we made the best of them.

A time to laugh, a time to cry....

The Beanie Babies Hit the Road

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

I am taking the Bag 'O' Beanies to Portland!

Driveway Sale!

SATURDAY

JUNE 26th

10am - 5pm

Located between Belmont and Morrison

on

SE 19th

in Portland

look for the signs

Once again, we will be holding a sale to help raise funds for the Mission Team.

There will be more treasures to discover and another chance to pick a

Beanie Baby to send to Nicaragua.

We hope to see you there!

Bendecidos!

Mission Team Sale was GREAT!

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

As a team we prayed for "dry" conditions. We got it! The morning started with misty weather, but it did not "rain"!!! We had many people we know stop by and pick out Beanie Babies to send to the children in Nicaragua, sip on coffee, enjoy yummy treats, and find those little treasures.

We had fun, even though it is always hard work. It was nice to spend the day together as a team!

Thank you for the donated items and wonderful treats that we sold - we raised over $300 to go towards the mission!

Bendecidos!

Nicaragua Mission Team Annual Garage-Bake Sale Fundraiser

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

The date is set and you are invited!

We will be holding our annual fundraiser on

Saturday, June 19th

9am - 4pm

Corner of 12th & I Street in Washougal

(Two Blocks North of Gateway Church on 12th Street)

As always we are excited to work together as a team to help raise money for the building supplies we will need in Nicaragua. This year we are building floors and roofs on two churches in the Tipitapa Area. We will also be holding events for children and would like to spend time with them doing small craft projects and give them each a goody bag on the last day. The goody bags of course have great treats in them like a bouncy ball, crayons and stickers, but also items the children need and may not have like a toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, etc. We expect 400 children each day for 3-4 days.

What do these things cost?

Building Materials: $7500 (approx)

Goody Bags & Craft Projects: $2000 (approx)

At the Sale, we will have some yummy baked goods to eat, so come hunt for your perfect treasure while sipping on some hot coffee and enjoying your treat.

Maybe even pick out a special Beanie Baby to send in a goody bag to a child in Nicaragua, from the BEANIE BABY BIN!

If you are unable to join us at the fundraiser but wish to help. Any donations can be delivered to Gateway Church with a memo "Nicaragua Mission". In case you would like to mail a check, the address is:

Gateway Church
1235 'E' Street
Washougal, WA 98671

We thank you in advance and always, your generous donations
and prayers are greatly appreciated.

Gateway Church Mission Team to Nicaragua 2010


back row l to r: Michael Bailey, Paige Haase, Larry Basham, Mike Lamb, Nick Barnes

middle row 1 to r: Morgan Wilson, Donna Basham

front row l to r: Jackie Miller, Harvey Miller, Bob Barnes

Mission to Nicaragua 2010

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase


July 20th - August 1st

Once again, I am preparing to return to the land of volcanoes. I am looking forward to being there again, unfortunately Doug and Sterling are not going this year. I am sad about it, a little nervous, but I know God has once again showed me how He wants me out of my comfort zone, in order to do His work. I am listening!

Nicaragua became a special place in our hearts four years ago when we travelled there to help build a vocational school, El Shaddai. The people there have become family, and to see their accomplishments fills our hearts with great joy. We have been back every year since, but don't get me wrong, if God calls us somewhere else we will go. We truly believe that our mission field is wherever God puts us each day.

This year, our team plans to go to two different areas during our time there. One place is called Cristo Rey, a very poor community where many of its people live off the garbage from the dump nearby. The other community is Ciudadela, equally as poor. Both are near the town of Tipitapa. Our church built a church in Tipitapa several years ago. We have visited the church on a few special occasions. We will be building "sister" churches to the first one. This is wonderful growth to be witnessing in an area that was filled with gangs and violence.

The people live in extreme poverty and are deeply grateful for all we do. Our main project for both sites is to put in the cement floor and roofing. Currently they just have wood posts, most likely to be old tree limbs, and black plastic wrapped around the posts for walls.

We will also be involved with helping a 3-4 day children's program by leading them in simple crafts and activities. We are expecting 400 children to attend each day during the week. We hope to give every child a goody bag with a few items they can use, like toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, and maybe a few fun things like crayons, etc.

While I am paying my own way, our team will need to raise approximately $7500.00 for the building materials. The team will also need about $2000.00 for craft materials, goody bags for the children and partial scholarships for team members.

Please consider how you can support our team financially and in prayer. I hope you'll remember to pray for the whole team, but in addition, please pray specifically for me that God will help me with my nervousness about the trip. I know He is big enough to protect us, but honestly I am a bit nervous going without Doug.

Any donations can be delivered to Gateway Church with a memo "Nicaragua Mission". In case you would like to mail a check, the address is:

Gateway Church
1235 'E' Street
Washougal, WA 98671

If you have questions or want to contact me, my e-mail address is: paigechappy@yahoo.com
I am also on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/paigehaase

Bendecidos!

A Shared Story

Photo by Zlatko Batistich

www.zlatkobatistich.com

Every week I find myself reading an email one of Gregory's friends sent me the day after he passed away. I wanted the courage to read it during Gregory's funeral service, but courage was not there. So I am sharing it today instead....

From Jim Olen:
I wrote this note to Gregory the other day - I thought you might like to read it as well.
And if there is a place where memories and thoughts are shared, please feel free to add this to the collection.

Be well, Paige. And stay strong. - Jim


Greg-

Of all souls who have been in and out of my life over the decades, it was yours that had the greatest and most impact on me. You shared with me one-of-a-kind experiences, taught me life-lasting lessons, and co-created more no-one-will-ever-believe-this stories than we could ever fit within the covers of a book. You showed me, step by step, the correct (and sometimes not-so-correct) ways to squeeze every last drop out of life, leaving regret at the proverbial doorstep. You introduced me to a legion of wonderful people, to the singular joy of a great single malt, and to a side of my own creativity to which was lying in quiet repose just waiting for an invitation to come out and play.

But maybe most of all, you showed me why getting permission - at times - is highly overrated. And that a good idea bows to no one.

I will never forget you, Pruitt, for all that you were then, and for all that you became since. Go in peace, my old friend, and just know that you live on in those who you touched. And one day, I'll meet you at the Chelsea Hotel once again, and we'll debate about the topics of your choice - until sunrise and beyond. Cocktails are on me.

- Jim

A Note From Facebook - May 13, 2010

Photography by Zlatko Batistich
www.zlatkobatistich.com

Hello again to everyone. Well yesterday marked what seems like an eternity. Two months has passed by, we are still in shock... healing is slow.
We still ask why...

Again, I turn to my faith and know that I can trust in God and His word: "God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast". 1 Peter 5:10

It is okay for us to not understand, to hurt, have questions, even be mad. Even to not understand God in all of this. Gregory began his journey seeking and accepting the Lord over 5 years ago, I gain so much comfort knowing that he is okay and I will see him again.

My prayer:
Sovereign God, we have so many "whys". But, nothing will change no matter how many times we ask. We don't understand this. We don't understand You. I realize I am not meant to. You, God, are high above all, and we must give our questions to You, once and for all. Heal our hearts, help us be comforted in knowing that Gregory is in a joyous place. Lead us, Lord, in your way, truth and life. Thank you for our grace and faithfulness. In Your Son's name I pray, Amen.

Bendecidos -
Paige

Childhood Memories

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

Growing up we moved a lot. Not just to new homes, but to different cities or even states. We had long stints, 2 years, sprinkled in, but for the most part, Gregory and I had to recreate our lives annually. We were always the "new kids" in school and on the block. It was easy to be someone different everywhere we landed.

One of my best memories is from a time where Gregory and I were still dependent on each other, not only as siblings but as friends. We always had sort of rivalry, but it was the kind that made you competitive on the tennis court, in the swimming pool and skateboarding.

We had just moved to Greenville, SC. The smallest town we had ever lived in. It was miles, and days away from the comfort of our life in Texas. Yes, a culture shock! People took the time to smile and say hello. Neighbors introduced themselves and welcomed us, like family. I felt that Gregory and I had finally felt the opportunity to just be ourselves. We did not have to create new identities, people accepted us just as we were!

We never had problems making friends, we were just afraid to get close to people. It was too painful at the end of the year, saying good-bye to those friends as we moved along to the next place. But, in Greenville we let our guard down. Let people become a part of our lives. We had a blast, freeing our hearts and minds. Gregory discovered his passion for golf, I lived for tennis.

I had always looked up to my brother even before we moved to South Carolina, but it was there that I knew I could count on him for anything. He protected me from family matters, he stood up for me at school, he complemented all that I tried to accomplish. Don't get me wrong, he also did hurtful big brother stuff, like destroy my Barbie collection, kicked me out of his room when his friends were there. Things like that. I look at those times and truly forgive - he had to take out his frustrations on something! So I gladly give him the Barbie collection for the times that he stood between me and danger...

It makes my heart smile when I remember all the times that Gregory would challenge me to eat dirt, do a back flip in the grass, reach into a hole in the ground and keep your hand there to the count of 10, strap my feet to a skateboard with electrical tape and go down the BIG hill. Yes, he taught me to "take it to the limit". Even a "friendly" game of tennis turned in to our own Wimbeldon Challenge.

We lived in Greenville for two full school years.

Those were two really good years!

My Brother

I began going to Grief Share. I felt that I did not deserve to have so much grief still. I am learning that I am purely human and not that super person I thought I always was. I was the one who is suppose to be strong and unaffected by such things. I was raised with a "get over it" attitude. Don't show any weakness...

Losing my brother has broken me. I guess you could say that it's kind of a good thing. I have learned to let go of so many things. Some things are just NOT important to waste time on, while other things are extremely important to become a part of. I have gained truly wonderful realtions with people I knew before, but just didn't have the "time" to stay in touch with, and people that are new to my life. All are special, and are now treasured. We have one main component in our lives in common... Gregory.

He touched all of our lives in such a way, that he made each one of us an important part of his life, no matter what "time" he had. Friends and family have shared stories of how Gregory was in the epicenter of life changing decisions in their lives, all different situations, yet very much the same outcome. He encouraged us all to go for those dreams, set those goals, live your life. Plus, he was always there to keep cheering us on.

I love my brother, I am thankful for everything he did for me. Everyday, I feel I was the luckiest little sister, blessed with such an incredible person as a big brother. I grew up with him, learned about life with him, we shared the world, we even have stories our parents never heard about.

I find myself asking things out loud, as if he were in the next room. I see his face on other drivers on my way to work. Sometimes I can hear his voice. He is everywhere.

I miss him, even more today than yesterday, I always will...

Girlfriend Weekends

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase

Some of my best memories include getaways with my close friends. Two times a year we head to the coast for a weekend. September we stay at Seaside and February is Bella Beach.

The past three years, I have enjoyed going to Bella Beach purely because it means an overnighter at my friend Midge's, in Salem. She always makes me laugh, she and her mother May are great hostesses.

Midge & I worked together in Portland for about 5 years. We would spend breaks talking about life. I could count on her to have great advice to help me through anything and with a positive attitude. Christmastime was a hoot in the office with Midge. She decorated over the top, so you couldn't help but have the Spirit of Christmas in your heart. So you could only imagine how wonderful it was for me to spend that one extra night in her home before we headed to the coast.

Buffi is another dear friend. I think of her as my sister. We go back to the land of Atlanta, Georgia days! She lives in Bend. We always end up as roomates on these trips. The first time was because we hadn't seen each other in a few years and we wanted to stay up all night, every night, to talk. After that, it became mandatory that the two of us remain roomates because we WOULD stay up talking and giggling ALL night. By the end of the weekends our sides were so sore from giggling it hurt to drive home!

These two women bring so much joy to my life, along with the crazy antics and funny movie recitals from Jana, homemade meals and cookies from Starr, and of course the laugh till you cry stories and great music from Patti, make perfect weekends I will never forget.

So, when you talk to your best friends and say that you should plan a weekend away, do it. We all need the time away from the ordinary. A time to recharge, but more importantly, a time to feel like yourself again.

Where we spoke....

Photography by Paige Pruitt-Haase
Sometimes we just have to take some time and breath. During a difficult time, I found myself in this window, staring out into the ocean and praying. I prayed for peace and comfort, I prayed for joy and happiness to be found.

My life had just taken a profound turn down a rather bumpy road. Well, bumpy is really not the best term. The road was reaked with deep potholes, gravel causing me to slide, and steep cliffs off to the side. My brother had passed away. No one could ever try to describe that kind of pain to me, not in a lifetime.

When I look back at that day, I cry. Not only because it was a deeply sad day, but I was also given the joy I sought when I stared out at the ocean. I looked down and saw a perfectly shapen cross in the small pine, reaching up in the wind. I sensed that my dear Lord was responding as I felt the grip of my brothers hand. We spoke.